pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
