We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
