he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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