he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
