cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
