Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
