So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
