doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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