she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We need to get me chipped asap
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
