I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
