Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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