am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
