we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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