she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize