a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
