everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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