He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
