Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am spending my child support on dildos
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
