hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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