i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
