i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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