I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
