omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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