this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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