i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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