Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
