I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I need moral support for this bender
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
