I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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