That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize