hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
smell my finger.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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