The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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