He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
