I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
