maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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