i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
