im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize