dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
