what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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