do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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