I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
