This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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