this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is it penis luge time yet?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize