im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
