My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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