Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
