there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
