yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize