I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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