All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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