my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
