ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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