all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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