you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
