No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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