come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
