before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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