Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
