Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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