i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
