I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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