why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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