That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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